Perry, Perry, quite contrary

To reduce the lingering fear of slavetraders among the homeless, the church of St. Cuthbert took possession of the warehouse and converted it into a soup kitchen popular among the residents of the docks, Old Quarter, and The Nest. One of the acolyes was about to sand off the charred wood from the middle of the floor when a homeless man explained that the black spot was all that remained of one of the slavetraders. The church sent a message to future lawbreakers by placing a breadbox-sized rock on the spot. The rock bore a plaque reading: "Heeding St. Cuthbert's call to punish breakers of the law, brave visitors from afar smote a band of slavetraders here. This black spot is all that remains of one of the enemies of civil society. A brave half-orc shaman conjured a greatsword of magical flame and incinerated the foul ruffian in short order." Six months later, Perry came in for lunch. The acolytes thought he was dressed quite nicely for a homeless person. Carrying his soup and rolls back to a table, Perry tripped on the rock, his face landing in his soup. He curtly told the acolytes that the rock was a huge insurance liability. He had a half a mind to tell a judge what had happened. The judge could find the church at fault and force them to pay damages. He also wanted to know why the rolls were cold. By the next morning, the plaque was gone and the floor repaired.

The day after that the local authorities were called to Perry's shop. It seems after hearing an insistent ringing of his front bell and his subsequent angry flinging open of that door, he saw a flaming burlap sack on his front step. Quickly stamping it out, he realized that it had been filled with feces, and the flammable liquid was actually more of a gel and now stuck to his foot.

He was treated for superficial burns, and quietly mocked by local healers. He was heard often saying, "How will I afford this medical ill? I don't keep insurance, I only sell it!"

Grog could not stop giggling for two days after hearing of this.